(The Owl House fanfic)Raine's Gender Journey chapter 3: Our Secret Place

Previous chapters

Chapter 1: The Egg Cracks

Chapter 2: mom

TW/CW there is a very vague reference to Raine's genitals and gender dysphoria. It is surrounded by *

Not every trans person dislikes the primary or secondary parts sexual of their bodies and that doesn't make them any less valid.

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I thought about my day as I walked to the library, I thought about Eda and being a girl. Thinking of myself as a girl definitely felt better than thinking of myself as a boy, I'm glad Eda's... indulging... this? I wasn't sure if that was the right word, she was doing more than just playing along, or at least I hoped she was. Eda wasn't one to say one thing and do the other, maybe to authority figures to get out of trouble, but never to me. I walked into the familiar building. "Hello, Baran, is Eda with you today?" The librarian greeted me."Oh, hi Helen, she'll be co-coming later," I replied, I was on a first name bases with all of the librarians at this point, especially with this one. I summoned my library card to show it to her. She didn't even look at it."There's a new Mystery as Sea book that came out today," she smiled. Mystery as Sea was a series that I started "reading," that I actually ended up actually reading, I just took out other books as I was reading them. I learned how to hide them so my parents would just see me reading different books. "I pulled it aside for you," she took out the book from under the counter and handed it to me.

"Thank you," I responded, awkwardly taking the book.

"It's also been a few days since you took out your last book, so I also pulled this one aside for you," she figured out what I was doing and helped me out by finding books for me to pretend to read. She gave me a book, it was called The Lost Files. I thanked her again. "Let me sign those out for you now so you don't have to worry about forgetting to do that later," she smiled, she always went above and beyond for me. She was the one who gave me my special room. I thanked her again as I put the books in my backpack. I waited for a moment to see if she had anything else to say before heading to the romance section. I pulled that one book and the shelf opened for me, a place of my own. The only place of my own. The only ones who know about it are Eda and Lilith. Lilith only knows of its existence, not how to get in.

The room was sparsely decorated, there were bookcases lining two of the walls, there were spots for the books that I liked but most of the books didn't seem to have anything in common, or at least not that I could figure out. There was a large beanbag chair in one corner a music stand and a table with two chairs.

I sat down and started doing my homework, that part wasn't a lie, I did have a lot of homework. I must have been more focused than I thought. I didn't notice Eda come in until she was literally breathing down my neck in the way that drives me crazy. "Hi, Cadence," she whispered, causing me to moan slightly. My face must have been bright red. She does this a lot, breathing down my neck and whispering in my ear, I always respond the same way. Which she finds hilarious, and I never told her to stop, because I like it too. I was also really happy she remembered my name. *It canceled out my awkwardness of an uncomfortable bodily function that I hated. I knew why, girls don't have this problem, I was just glad that the school uniform's pants had a lot of... compressive support.*

"Hi Eda," I smiled as I looked at her laughing face, I looked around the room, I could see the slight discoloration on the walls, I was relieved that she casted a silencing spell. She always does but I always feel the need to check just to be sure. Just like I need to check everything because you never know.

She sat down in the chair next to me and ran a hand through my hair, again much to my embarrassment and Eda's delight, I unconsciously leaned into her hand. Causing another snort-laugh. "Oh, Cadence, you are so cute." I happily leaned against her arm, she just had a growth spurt, so she was quite a bit taller than me now. She pulled her arm out from under me, and around me. I rested my head at the side of her arm as with our current heights my head would be on her chest. I wrapped an arm around the small of her back and she placed her other on the outside of my farther thigh. We just stayed that way for a moment. I always felt safe in her arms. I don't know how long we stayed like that, but my girlfriend broke it with a reality check. "Do you still have homework Cadence?" she knew there would be trouble if I came back with unfinished homework. Also, when I finish my homework, we cuddle.

"Urg," I sighed annoyed. I did have homework to do. I sat up and looked back at the page in front of me. Next to me, Eda took out her homework. She may be a troublemaker, but she did do her work. I had just finished my homework, when I looked over, she was working but wasn't concentrating too hard, I learned all her tells. "Um, Eda," I stated quietly, to make sure she was willing to talk. There would be no consequences if she went home with unfinished homework.

"What's up Ba-Cadence?" I could see the frustration in her golden eyes as she messed up my name, but she did look up giving me her undivided attention."Wh-what did you do this time?" I asked.

"It wasn't even my fault this time, ok maybe a little," she smirked," so, I was making a potion and I may or may not have 'accidentally', grabbed the wrong ingredient making my potion a TEMPORARY skin burning potion, and may or may not have 'accidentally' splashed it onto that jerk, Julian." Her smirk was infectious, as I noticed on my face as well. She really was something.

I sighed, "I wish I could do what you do."

"What do you mean? Get in trouble? Your parents would kill you."

"Stand up to anyone, half the time I say yes to things just to avoid people getting mad at me... you can do just about anything without caring about how what anyone thinks of you," my eyes

drifted back down to the table.

I felt my girlfriend's hand on my chin guiding my head, so I was looking at her face, and she looked worried. "You said that you don't always say no?" I nodded as much as I could, with her hand on my chin. "You can always say no to me, no matter what I ask you can always say no, got that Cadence? And if there was anything that I did ask of you that you don't want to do I want

you to tell me, I WANT you to say no."

I stared at her in disbelief, she was the only person in my life whoever told me they wanted me to say no, based on something I wanted. My parents trained me to say no to a lot of things, she was saying I should choose what I say no to! "You can tell me Cadence, I won't get mad, and I'll stop, I like you I, and I like us. I want you to be happy," her gaze remained strong.

I opened my mouth and then closed it. I've gotten used to, or even came to like, everything she does. "J-just surprising me with things, like neck breathing, and randomly kissing me" I looked down and knew she asked for things, but it still felt strange telling her. I felt her arms wrap around my much smaller body, "wow, and I do that stuff a lot. I'm so sorry Cadence... I'll stop, under one condition?" I nodded meekly. "If you promise that if something else comes up you tell me right then and there, got that?"

I nodded. I then looked at my watch, we had almost two hours before I had to go home, "Want to go to the beanbag chair?" I suggested, we were already kind of cuddling, we might as well do it somewhere comfortable.

"I thought you'd never ask," she smiled, face relaxed again. We moved to the comfortable seat; I was practically encased in my girlfriend's limbs. Eda pitched ideas for some pranks, and I helped her work out some details, I knew she left them out for me to find. We both knew that I wanted to do something, and with this, I could feel like I'm being rebellious without actually doing anything. Soon it turned into kissing, then making out. I wasn't ready to go passed that. I was able to say no because sexual acts were one thing my mom made me practice saying no to.

The alarm on my watch went off too soon, it always does. Neither of us were happy about it, but we knew that I needed to go home when my alarm went off, my mom grounds me for a week if I miss curfew. We untangled, and Eda uses some illusion magic to make a mirror so we can make ourselves presentable. We pack up our bags and headed towards our respective homes.

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If you like this story but are caught up? I have and several Owl House one shots and a few other series that I am working on that you can take a look at, as well as a poetry collection. I keep a google doc housing summaries of each story and all of the installations that I've posted in an easy to navigate google doc:

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~~Ben